Tag: healing

Revival

Sunshine radiated off the water’s surface
And my burnt skin felt warm to the touch for the first time in years
Clarity flooded my mind as the light broke through the trees
The fresh air flooded my lungs
And the summer heat began to cast away all remnants of the sea
My surroundings are more barren than usual
But it has allowed me to see what was lost in between
Gray cities and broken concrete 
Suffocated me until there was almost nothing left 
Nature has returned me to my roots
Found deep within the desert terrain

Obstinance

I’ve come to the understanding
That my mother and I are two different people
We’re cut from different cloth
Our brain chemistry is made up of opposing stardust 
I’ve agreed to harmful validation,
Just to temporarily bandage a void that’s been scar-tissue for decades
I can recall being enamored with real mothers on television
And growing envious of my friends for their own 
I look into the eyes that are pieces of me
And wonder what my mother didn’t see in mine 
While knowing at times, my own reflected the shine of hers too 
Understanding is all I have left,
Because forgiveness is no longer an option

Penance

I realize there is no going back,
Even if I tried 
What I replay most in my mind
Will always be stained with regret
All of the times when I should have stayed
The television blaring with repetition 
Mumbles beneath your breath, filling me with aggravation
My own anxieties hostage in another space,
Trapped in the hands of a stranger 
I am endlessly filled with sorrow for not being wiser
For not turning off my phone
For willfully ignoring my surroundings 
For the way my chest tightens
When I think about all I’ve lost
That it was all for nothing, and I can’t go back 

Lexeme

The things I have been through
Have been written down
If you look close enough,
You’ll see the many times
I’ve died over the years
Hands
Where they never belonged
How different I would be
If I’d had the courage to say no
But I have never been very good
At knowing what’s best for myself
Even in the moments
When I knew something was wrong
I allowed myself to go unnoticed
And chose to regret this later
The decisions I have made
Have always come at a cost
Until my soul
Was left an empty shell
I would repair this, you see
But there is very little fight
Left within these pages